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A chinese call centre Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan ! Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now , Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree . Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ... Caller: O h .......God!!! ! (Venkatesh Hariharan)

santa:(to his friend banta): my wife is afraid of water. Banta: how can u say that? Santa: yesterday when i reached my home i found her in the bath tub with our security guard....... (santa-banta)

A kid asked the priest, "Father, what is your pastime?" The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied, "Nun, my child, nun". (Anon)

Teacher : What do you want to become? Lil Johnny : Doctor!! Teacher : Why? Lil Johnny : 'Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it. (Anon)

Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta singh : 'Yes, I have' Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.' Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.' (parents)

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder. (Sardarji)

Teacher's Day Joke On a special Teacher's Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving Teacher Day gifts. The Florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is....some flowers." "That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy storeowner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy." "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor storeowner's son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!" (Anon)

An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. "Your name plz" "Abdul Aziz" "Sex?" "Six times a week!!" "No, no, I mean male or female!" "Doesn't matter, sometimes camel" (Anon)

In a job interview for policemen the applicants are shown a profile picture of a man, and the interviewer says, "The job that you're applying for requires powers of observation. Make one observation about this man." The first applicant enters and says, "This man has just one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer. The second applicant enters and says, "This man has one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer again. Then the third applicant gets up to go in for his interview. The first two guys are out there and they tell him, "The guy that's giving the interview doesn't like to hear that the man in the picture has one ear." "Thanks for the tip" says the third applicant. So the third applicant enters, stares at the picture for a while and finally he says, "This man wears contact lenses." The interviewer is impressed and says, "Excellent observation. Tell me, how could you tell?" So the guy says, "Well, this man has just one ear, how could he wear glasses?" (Anon)

A Sardar, a German and an American got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The American was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the American was also led away whimpering loudly. The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the American to my back" !!! KHABARDAR KISINE AB SE SARDAR KA MAZAAK UDAAYA TO !!! (HE HE HE)